Cheddar FonDrew

So I was thinking about syndication the other day. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about syndication. Most of the TV I love I didn’t romance in prime-time but in the afternoons after school or work. This includes The Simpsons. Some might cry “Heretic!” at this point but the truth is that after the initial excitement of seeing my favorite part (and probably the only part I understood) of The Tracy Ullman Show get their due… there was some disappointment. Animated or no the first three seasons are, for the most part, general sitcom fodder. Not until Season 4 did it truly become the institution it is today.

I was wondering about the fact that the ep’s are only syndicated locally and not on cable. I’m guessing they make more money milking every affiliate individually (do the repeats appear on any local network other than Fox?) than they would from a single cable broadcaster.

Or

Could they be just lying in wait to debut The Simpsons Channel-”All Simpsons, All The Time”? Think about it. They’ve already got 400+ episodes and are maybe three years away from 500. They could easily do it in 8 hour blocks (just 16 ep’s) three times a day or just twice and sell the wee hours away to Ronco’s Pocket Ronco or The Cleanse Your Bowels And Grow Your Weenie Show. They could fill at least 3 weeks before recycling.

Maybe they don’t stay too tethered to an only The Simpsons programming schedule. They could show a movie very influential on Our Favorite Family like, say, Citizen Kane or Apocalypse Now, and then air all episodes with references to the film. Maybe pull Futurama back into the fold and kill some more airtime that way. It could work.

As a reward for suffering through my ramblings I’ve decided to go ahead and include some pics.

I’d buy the fanciest damn shoes you ever saw. I’m talking $2000 gold-plated Air Jordans with diamond shoelaces. When I rolled into a room they’d be the first thing anyone saw and, being chair-bound, them bad boys would never get scuffed or dirty.

So Flintstones Multivitamins are still on the market and, according to their website, available in four varieties.

First Digression: Flintstones Gummies: To paraphrase Mitch Hedberg, “All pills are chewable; it’s just that most taste like shit.” Why teach children that medicine’s easy –no, almost awesome – to swallow? Will Viagra 3.0 be chewable? Valtrex Extra Strength?

Second Digression: Flintstones Plus: “My child’s urine isn’t quite opaque enough. Isn’t there some product that will allow me to spend more? This will balance out all those Happy Meals, right?”

Main Bitch: Why are these still on the market at all? Does their target demographic even recognize the shapes they’re ingesting? Where’s Patrick and fucking Squidward? (Aside: My family was too poor/smart for Flintstones vitamins. Did anybody ask mom for a Dino instead of a Bam-Bam?)

When I was young, a kid could catch reruns of The Flintstones in syndication even over the air. They sucked hard but they were cartoons. (I watched Scooby Doo for the same reason.) In today’s 2000-channel reality, a kid would have to search awfully hard to watch a bad rip-off of The Honeymooners (which also sucks. And before you start to argue, allow me to rejoin you with the fact that I watch plenty of B&W that doesn’t suck. And is still funny today.).

Sidenote: My buddy at work says his wife makes her Rice Krispies treats with Fruity Pebbles. That’s a great idea. Maybe I should broker the deal between Post and Kellogg’s. Thanks, Buddy-At-Work’s Wife.